The Big Questions

Let’s get real here. That’s right–up close and personal. I probably won’t do a post like this again. Prepare to be offended, unless you are my long-lost twin.

Every day in my Reader I see posts about looking for the good, or how people in third world countries are suffering, or how bloggers are making journeys of self-discovery. And then I see my posts, which are about how Jessie makes me cry or who would win in a battle between Aragorn and Beren. And I think, how superficial the blogosphere must think I am.

So why do I not discuss the deeper issues? Because I have major depression, first of all. And a passionate nature that will flare up when I see something I know is wrong. Those two combined lead to a not very pleasant existence when I get caught up in major debates that actually matter. My body clenches up, and I start making groping movements with my hands, and I get literally heated up to the point of sweating, and I have this desire to smash everything, and I have to go calm myself down by watching a movie or something, or I will cry until the point of dehydration. Basically, I turn into the Hulk when I see someone having an outrageous opinion.

So I opt out.

I stay out of politics, I stay out of religion, I stay out of every topic that will have people resort to curse words to get their point across. I eventually had to drop out of the Middle-earth loop while the Hobbit movies were a thing, because all the changes from the book were making my veins pop.

Everyone knows they’re right, correct? And somebody has to actually be the right one, so do you think they know, and I mean really know, that they are really the right one? Look at it this way: if I say 2+2 is 4, and someone challenges me and says its 5, what happens now? I know I’m right, and they know they’re right. But I’m really the correct one. And I know it. Most people’s solution is “well, you know you’re right, so it doesn’t matter whether anyone else knows it.” But it does matter. If it didn’t there wouldn’t be wars, or elections, or rallies, or people from every religion trying to get converts. Everyone would just mind their own business, happy in the knowledge that they are right.

Without trying to soften it, that’s how I am; I know I’m right. I am a Traditional Roman Catholic, and while there are even debates within that about how traditional is too traditional, I know that at least I’m on the right side. My religion is the real one. And we are having issues with it, because the Pope is not being so traditional right now. That’s really frustrating.

And abortion is bad. Its murder. I have this to say to all you pro-choice people: first, you are alive, so aren’t you glad your mother didn’t have an abortion with you? And second, if you didn’t want a child, why were you irresponsible enough to get pregnant?

Homosexuality is also bad. It is perhaps the most unnatural thing in life. God created a man and a woman to populate the earth. Not two men or two women! And even if your religion or whatever it is you follow doesn’t have God in it, it’s always been a man and a woman having relationships. Because that’s the way its supposed to be. Honestly, its starting to be more appropriate for a boy and girl to hang together than two people of the same gender!

And the political candidates. Basically, anyone in politics is another Peter Jackson: insane liars who do as they please while making idle promises, and introducing unnatural laws and…calm down, Violetta. I know sometimes there is a politician who isn’t so bad, and if there were one of those right now, I’d vote for him. But there isn’t. There are just demons right now, and since a demon will inevitably replace the existing one in the White House come November, I won’t be voting at all. Sometimes your civic duty is to just pray that God will make it work out sooner rather than later.

This is not really supporting my statement that I opt out. But this much involvement on my part will probably never happen again, so I’ll let it run its course.

As for the suffering in the world, I know suffering. Again, depression case over here. And maybe its the depression talking, but I sometimes think that’s the worst kind of suffering. If you are a happy, hopeful Snow White figure in your miserable African hut, at least life is still worth living for you. For a depressionist, it never is. And I had to grow up with divorced parents. I often spoke of my friends as having to ask their mom for things rather than their parents, because I forgot that they had both parents. And the members of my extended family hate each other, so there is never a comfortable situation with them. And you don’t even have to drive out of my city to find people standing on the street corners with little pieces of cardboard begging for money. And my religion is one of the most hated on in the world. So I sympathize for the third world countries. I’m not a spoiled American living the dream, with all my problems being whether Tadashi will live if I just watch Big Hero 6 one more time.

But this blog is my journey of self-discovery. Or, more precisely, my cure for depression. And to do that I need to get away from the terrible, terrible black hole of anarchy this planet has become. It is called self-discovery, so everyone discovers themselves differently. Mine is through writing whatever is in my head, and acting in even the lowliest of settings. That is why I become so emotionally attached to my Pixar movies, and my LOTR, and my Disney Channel shows. That is why I never have inspirational, meaningful things to say. I don’t care if no one ever reads this blog. I don’t care if my handful of followers stops following either because of this post or because my other ones are too boring and one-dimensional. This is my piece of the universe, and I’ll say what I want on it and let others respond to it how they will. Because without supporting liberalism or feminism, I do support people saying what they believe in without being worried about what others will think of them. Which is what I just did.

The current chaos of the world is too much for any but God to organize now.

I have to admit though, another reason I don’t get involved in the real world problems is because I know someday everybody will come before God to be judged, and they will know they were wrong, if they were, and I was right. I lead such strong arguments about Tauriel and other such things in the media because there will be no such revelation in their case.


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