A-Z Challenge, Days 9-11

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So I’m changing my posting schedule again. This is going to be weird for me, because I normally post Tuesdays and Thursdays, and now thanks to my “economical” A-Z challenge system and the fact we get Sundays off, I’m now posting on Wednesdays and Saturdays. For the month of April only. Unless I like this way better…

So without further ado, here’s Part 3!

April 11: I is for Indecisive

I’m a very impulsive person, and so indecision has never been much of a problem to me, because the right choice has always been a no-brainer. All that means, though, is that when something comes up that I can’t decide on instantly, I can’t decide on it at all. The problem right now being whether to take one of the two jobs being offered to me.

Unless acting is involved, I simply do not do people. And so I can’t do a job that is out of my comfortable room, and in the world somewhere. I’m a Baggins, not a Took. Well, actually I’m an Elf, but if I were a Hobbit I’d be all Baggins and no Took. Here is a passage from The Hobbit:

“Then Mr. Baggins turned the handle and went in. The Took side had won. He suddenly felt he would go without bed and breakfast to be thought fierce. As for little fellow bobbing on the mat it almost made him really fierce. Many a time afterwards the Baggins part regretted what he did now, and he said to himself: ‘Bilbo, you were a fool; you walked right in and put your foot in it.’ “

That is how I felt the last time I took a job in an office building. The income I have right now isn’t steady, so I really need to take whatever is offered me. But, well, I’m faced with the conflict Frodo had when deciding to accept the Ring. Do I stay home and comfortably fall into ruin? Or do I let my life be destroyed by doing the right thing?

Everyone has to deal with indecision in their lives, and the people of Middle-earth were no different. But the members of the Fellowship nearly always chose correctly, and I’m really, really afraid that I won’t. 

April 12: J is for Jealousy

I don’t really get jealous, because I’m a Pessimist and I think everybody’s lives are just their version of misery. (Of course I’m jealous of everybody who gets to be on Disney Channel…and in LOTR…and involved with Pixar…but other than that…!!!)

But I’ve noticed that jealousy isn’t a big thing in Middle-earth, either. Just another reason for it to be the greatest world in the history of worlds. Except in the case of Denethor and sons. I think they’ve all got a bit of a jealous streak in them.

Denethor is of course jealous of the King of Gondor, because he thinks he himself should be the king and even if he shouldn’t, the real king has no right to take his stewardship away from him! So he feels instantly threatened when he hears about Aragorn.

Boromir is also somewhat jealous of the King of Gondor, thinking that his father should be king after waiting so long, but when he meets Aragorn he overcomes that. After that he is jealous of Frodo, not being able to comprehend why a lowly Hobbit was in charge of the Ring and not him.

And Faramir…I think his was a subtle jealousy. And one he didn’t even really want to have. I believe he was jealous of…not Boromir exactly, but the fact that he was the favorite. Faramir loved his brother of course, and was happy to leave the commanding to him, and was crushed by his death. But he made remarks to both Frodo and Gandalf that he was trying to be in his father’s good graces like Boromir was.

So maybe jealousy was the wrong word for Faramir, but whatever it was, he made the right decision in letting Frodo go, and Boromir made up for his sins by sacrifing himself for Merry and Pippin. It was only their father who failed, ironically, seeing how much respect they both had for him.

Gosh, Denethor. Just another reason you are my least favorite LOTR character.

April 13: K is for Keep calm and read The Lord of the Rings

Notice how I said read. If I watch it, I’m calmed, but I’m also crying and seeing how much better/worse my life could be.

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But reading this book is the only thing that I find completely relaxing. If I do literally anything else that is supposed to be relaxing, I’m jumpy and thinking of the thing that’s freaking me out in the first place. It’s not even because I’m that big of a reader anymore, either. I used to be an avid one, but sadly since technology took over it’s becoming harder for me to focus on books unless they are truly riveting. I’ve read this one about 10 times now, and it still has the power to hold on to me and never let go, no matter which page I turn to. In my crazy, scary life, this is honestly the only thing that still makes sense to me.

See you next time for days 12-14!

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