The Tragic Tale of Rosie’s Twelve Husbands

Day 8 of the June 1-30 Challenge.

Write a story with eight legs (octopus, two cats, four people, etc).

Rosie.jpg

Everyone, this is Rosie. You may remember her as the spider from “A Bug’s Life.” Apparently she has lost twelve husbands, making her a black widow widow, and while I don’t always like fan-fiction shared with the world, today I am making an exception to tell you just what happened to them all, from the dressing room during intermission.

Rosie lived in an extensive spider colony with just her parents, since all her siblings beforehand had been married off. Now it was her turn, and her father picked his good friend Charlie to be her husband. Rosie was a very motherly kind of spider, so she was happy with him. But on their honeymoon, he was eaten by a bird, and she was left alone, so she made her way back to her colony. Her father was undaunted, though depressed, so he asked Rosie’s second cousin Harry to be her groom, and he accepted. Harry made it through the honeymoon, but he came home and drowned in a storm. Her third husband was a very rich, very shy spider named Holley who had wanted to ask her the first two times but hadn’t been brave enough to face her father, who of course did not object now. But he died from overeating, because he was rich enough to over indulge. Her father was getting a little anxious, because even though spider deaths happened every day, he’d never had a child go through so many husbands before having children. He said whoever married her next had to take her far away, so a very young spider named Hourglass offered to move her away. But he was very inexperienced, and flew into the first bug-zapper is saw. Rosie fell in love with the undertaker who buried him, and her marriage to Cameron was the longest she ever had, at a week and a half. Her next marriage was with a very old spider called Muffet who was trying to forget his first love, but he promptly died the next evening. Rosie’s seventh husband Squirt lasted the second longest, but he was too much of a daredevil and died while practicing flips with his webs. Septimus was a seven-legged spider who would always brag about he lost his leg, but he really had only been born with seven, and he was truly a coward and died of fright at the idea of having children. Her ninth husband Spinner was blown away in a windstorm, and her tenth, Wiggle, was very poor and died of starvation. Rosie’s eleventh husband Eric was very abusive, but an orphan beetle ate him, and Rosie was so grateful that she adopted him and named him Dim. Rosie’s twelfth and final husband Aragog worked with P.T. Flea’s circus, and got Rosie and Dim jobs there. He was the test subject for Flaming Death, which ended as such. And that is how Rosie became a Black Widow widow twelve times over.

And now you know why they couldn’t include this in the movie; because no matter how light I tried to make it, it does involve the death of twelve husbands.

 

 

 

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