Spoiler Alert: It’s just another social battle.
I like the idea of Christmas, I really do. I love it when the stores start decorating, no matter how early in the year it is, and I always get excited when they start playing Christmas music. Wrapping presents is something I would voluntarily do every day, and I absolutely love going to Midnight Mass, because I get this amazing sense of peace and calm.
But that all goes away when the partying starts. Because then I have to smile and say hello to people. I have to come out of my room, or worse, let others invade it. I have to see people I never see anymore. I have to hope that the presents I chose are nice enough, and unique enough, without being awkward or random. I have to let others look at me as I open presents, and I have to feign reactions, because I’m really not someone who has reactions, but opening gifts with a deadpan face really doesn’t fly with the grandparents. I have to play games with my aunt, and remember the way my grandmother likes me to set the table. I have to face the never-ending battle of questions about where my life is headed, and I have to remember to thank everyone. Mycroft Holmes gets it:
I’m not ungrateful, truly. I always feel enormous waves of gratitude for those who actually thought of me while I was not in their presence, and who took the time to think of a gift I might like. Or in my grandmother’s case, to find a movie off my wish list and spend her money to have Amazon ship it to her. I’m grateful for that too, because those movies are there because I want them!
But I am an introvert, more than anything, and the prospect of having two parties, one at home for my mother’s family, and one at my grandparents’ for my father’s family, always gives me the impression that I hate Christmas every year. And I don’t, I DON’T. I just have to remember that I do love Christmas, and am sorry when it’s over.
I know, what a lovely post to write on this most joyous day. It really is about the birth of Our Savior, and I should just think of these parties I have to go through as a gift for Him.
So Happy Birthday to Him, and Merry Christmas to you all!